Sunday, September 30, 2007

I blow kisses...

I blow kisses in the wind hoping that they will reach you, and when the wind touches my face, I feel like my kisses have been reciprocated.

Kisses to you...

Kisses to you wherever you may be!

Good morning and...

Good morning and good night my love, xo

I hate you...

I hate you for leaving this earth.

Hi, I am...

Hi,
I am finally thinking of selling the house. It just isn't the same without you. I have to move on now. I'm sorry.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Since your death...

Since your death, there is a dark cloud that follows me around and rains on everything I do and everyone I touch.

I want to...

I want to join you as soon as possible.

Please let me...

Please let me know that wherever you are, everything is okay. I worry about you still.

I hope that...

I hope that you are making people laugh wherever you are. You always loved being the center of attention.

You gave me...

You gave me the world, and I thank you for that. You gave me misery, and I forgive you for that.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

It's weird that...

It's weird that I will outlive you. I never thought this would happen. I always thought that you would be my older brother. I always thought that you were stronger than I was.

I know I'll...

I know I'll get over your death. I just don't know when. I feel the pain, and I recognize how it affects everything I do.

Autumn has hit...

Autumn has hit the city, and I feel more lonely than ever without you. There is no one to keep me warm. I miss your hugs.

If you had...

If you had only understood how much I loved you, you would have never done what you had done. I am sorry for not being perfect.

I miss the...

I miss the romance we used to have - the cuddles, the warmth, and the love. I have never felt so tired in my life.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

We are taught...

We are taught how to save, not to lose lives. I am paralyzed not knowing what to do without you.

Well, what can...

Well, what can I tell you that you haven't probably already witnessed in one way or another. I can tell you that writing to you makes me feel happy, that writing to you makes me feel like you are here with me, and that writing to you makes me feel loved by you again. As painful as it is to know that you are gone, writing to you is a small respite from the terror of grief.

If I could...

If I could live with you again, I would show you that I am better now. You wouldn't suffer as you did, and you wouldn't kill yourself as you did. Your death punishes me daily.

No one has...

No one has touched me since you left.

I am not...

I am not mourning only the loss of you, but also the loss of time, the loss of the past. Our history is now just words, and the future without you is a theory.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

I still smell you...

I still smell you
I still hear your laugh in my ear
Your golden rain, your gentle ways.

A rock, a shield, a star.
You still shine to me.

I love you Dad.

I almost walked...

I almost walked into the ocean to be with you. But as the water level reached my chin, I stopped. I thought of the torture of those around me when they would find out. I'm sorry. I can't yet be with you.

Now I see...

Now I see our closeness with the most purity. Now, after the storms have passed, I see what you meant when you said, "I love you." I woke up too late, and now it's too late for you to come back.

I hear your...

I hear your voice helping me through the difficult times. Thanks :)

You never said...

You never said good-bye. And I am happy you didn't. This way I know that you are still with me.