Sunday, January 28, 2007

Because of your...

Because of your example, I have a strong work ethic, the ability to make good friends, and lots of hobbies. Thank you for giving me these things – they have been invaluable in dealing with my loss.

I still want...

I still want to pick up the phone to tell you something, or ask for your advice. I wish I knew how to reach you.

I often hear...

I often hear myself say something that you would say, and I realize that you'll always be inside of me.

You will influence...

You will influence me for the rest of my life, and I don't think I could say that if you were still alive.

Thank you eternally...

Thank you eternally for sharing your life and friendship with me in such a special way.
Things fall together sometimes - like people do.
I dream ... I believe ...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

I am so...

I am so sorry that I let my stubbornness contribute to our lack of contact over the past while. That is our ebb and flow, but it is so heartbreakingly painful to me right now. We can't hug one more time in this world, but I believe that we'll meet again somewhere and we'll both be happy. Until then I'll keep all of your countless wonders with me always in my heart.

We've had an...

We've had an intense relationship for eight years now. I am so privileged to have been able to spend such formative years with you. I learned so much about life and love from you, and you helped me in so many important ways to become the person that I am today. We complemented each other so well as people, and in such an exhilarating way, that it often scared me to think about it. I was never sure just how much either of us was joking when we talked about our telepathy.

I have moved...

I have moved on. I am strong enough to have accepted everything and live with what I have, my children. Not that I have forgotten you, but I enjoy what I am left with.

I get along...

I get along without you very well.

I wish we...

I wish we could talk. I miss the time we used to spend together; we always had so much fun. You were like a sister to me.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

In my dreams...

In my dreams I see your face and it is beautiful. I hear your laugh and I laugh. I feel your generous spirit and it comforts me. In reality I sense a hole: Life without you in it.

Today is your...

Today is your birthday. I bought flowers, white carnations that you used to love so much.

Thank you for...

Thank you for the courage you showed up to the last moments. I consider this to be the final gift that I received from you.

Living by your...

Living by your example, people think highly of me.

If you can...

If you can hear me, please give me a sign.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Everyone tells me...

Everyone tells me that I should slow down and take care of myself. Every time I slow down, I think of you, and it kills me.

Why did you...

Why did you leave?

I watched you...

I watched you recede, paralyzed by the encroaching darkness, keeping my distance for fear of being pulled into the vortex of your demise. Your end casts long shadows. I am haunted by the knowledge that I will never again see your form upon this earth and racked by the guilt of having survived you. I am bent by the weight of your passing and broken by the knowledge that I will join you.

You were my...

You were my greatest fan!

It's so hard...

It’s so hard getting over your death, the absence of you. Some people tell me you are in heaven. I suppose anything is possible. But as much as I try to believe that you are somewhere out there beyond your ashes, I can’t.