Good night my...

Good night my love. Good night.

It's like an...

It's like an earthquake. There was the initial jolt, then frequent aftershocks, then less frequent aftershocks, and now just waiting in fear. We all miss you.

Five hundred and...

Five hundred and twenty-two days since you left. I'm still waiting for you to come back.

Face to face...

Face to face would be nice
Again to dance with you
My sweet darling
Holding hands
Forever

The madness continues...

The madness continues. I don't know when it will end. I miss you.

It felt like...

It felt like time was coming to an end. All of the struggles involved in accepting the final days had been resolved, and there we sat, a group of us, peacefully enjoying drinks as the sun sank into the crevices of the darkening skyline. We laughed about things you had done, things you had said. A spirit of together held us in place this one last time. I didn't know when I would see everyone again, but I was happy being in this moment, no longer alone, for only a few hours, I was happy.

The words, "She...

The words, "She died," don't do justice to your passing.
The words, "She died," don't explain the sleepless nights, the nightmares when I do sleep, the hypochondria, or the anxiety attacks.
The words, "She died," are for those who don't really want to know that you died.
You know what I mean.

I just don't...

I just don't feel like I fit in.

Hi there, As...

Hi there,
As you may or may not have seen, I'm in trouble. Help me please.

Would you have...

Would you have loved me more if you had known you were going to die?

Control. From your...

Control.
From your death, I have learned that I cannot control everything anymore.
I guess I never could.
I can influence,
but I cannot control.

I have accepted...

I have accepted that I have changed profoundly, that I am a part of a small group of people who "get it." It's frustrating that life can be so socially limited, but I think I can help others who are on their way to "getting it." This is the reward.

Now, your death...

Now, your death feels like it was supposed to happen, unavoidable, essential for me to be who I am now.

I watched the...

I watch the pieces of hair fall onto the floor as the assistant swept them away. Dead pieces of me gone forever. Now if only it were that easy to let you go.

My world is...

My world is a bearable place without you. It has to be.