I still can't...

I still can't forget the phone call and the sound of our stoic father's sobbing voice as he struggled to say, "He died." You have left me not only with beautiful memories, but also with gashes in my heart that I live with daily. I take it out on my wife, my kids, everyone close to me. Sometimes they remember why I am the way I am now. Sometimes I know that they simply hate the man I have become. Why? Why? Why did this have to happen?