It's getting easier...

It's getting easier. I feel kind of guilty. It's strange, hey? It's like your death is pulling me in one way, and life is pulling me in the other way. But life is winning at this point. You always needed so much attention from me, and I still feel guilty for not having given you what you needed when you were alive. I was an asshole to you. And now I am afraid of going to hell. I guess the guilt and fear that stay with me is your way of getting back at me. Ha! I hope your smiling up there seeing me struggle. I'm just so scared now.