You were always...

You were always afraid to see yourself. You could look in the mirror, but what you saw was a deflection, not a reflection. Everything was someone else's fault. You thought you had it all figured out. You thought you knew it all. If you had just taken the time to look, to see why you were so stressed out, then maybe you wouldn't have had your heart attack. You ate, drank, and drugged yourself to death, all while convincing yourself that you were "just having fun." We tried to talk to you. We knew you weren't having fun. We knew you were escaping. Perhaps now, you have learned your lesson. Perhaps in your next life, you will know how to see, not just look at, yourself clearly. Perhaps you will be able to love yourself, and, if you're lucky, love someone else. And finally, perhaps you will be able to recognize when someone loves you enough to say goodbye. Goodbye.